When Friends & Family Aren't On Board

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This topic contains 7 replies, has 3 voices, and was last updated by  Nunners 8 months ago.

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  • #14553

    Mrs Cog
    Keymaster

    This is something we all struggle with and gets little attention or discussion amidst all the circus noise out there. As we said in the Collapse Fatigue article, MY truth may not be YOUR truth… but it is my opinion that when we share our own struggles and discoveries, we can help each other to navigate… if only to consider another’s perspective.

    Cog and I do this for each other all the time. We are quite opposite with polar different wiring in many ways, we might as well be from different planets. After five years of being together, we still have many conversations when one of us says to the other, “Gosh, I never thought of it that way.”

  • #14554

    Mrs Cog
    Keymaster

    When I started reading ZH in its earlier days, I was searching for ways to trade profitably from the upcoming post QE implosion of the economy. I joke with Cog that I only stumbled upon his writings because I was looking for better charts lol. Until I read his works I had been a steadfast (very right leaning) Republican who believed much of what Fox News told me. I belonged to an upscale country club and didn’t know much about real cooking. It turns out I didn’t know much about anything at all.

    My family, whose retirement portfolios I was managing, witnessed my alarming transformation over the next 18 months. I panicked, pleaded, prepped, blogged, and spoke about many taboo subjects. I became physically ill attempting to change my behavior while trying to get my arms around what was actually happening in the world. Nobody would call me crazy to my face because I think deep down they knew I was making sense. But in my family, we didn’t go around questioning all those uncomfortable things that were too big to change and I was no longer playing ball. So much for polite society

    Cog and I are coming up on 5 years together. For more than three years we have lived at our quasi remote mountain homestead. Our move here, with my youngest Izzy in tow, was the final straw as former friends and family stepped away. Even my adult children were outraged, disappointed, confused, etc…

    I look at my life here as a blank palette. Every single day when I wake up I can start it all over again or build on yesterday. It’s taken years, but for the most part I no longer seek the approval of my kids or parents. A real tough pill for all (I had always been a”fixer” – trying to solve their problems) to swallow. They are each on their own path, learning the lessons they must learn. Most importantly, they are living the consequences of the decisions they make or fail to make.

    I love them dearly, but for the most part I will not allow my day-to-day happiness depend upon anyone but me. :-)

  • #14555

    Nunners
    Participant

    Mrs. Cog, thank you for this thread!  I almost missed it in my email and that would have been a shame.  Barring some particulars, your journey seems so much like mine.   My kids check in with me via a text every so often.  But that’s OK.  Seems like it was usually when they needed something anyway and since hubby retired we have to watch our pennies.  The whole world just seems so sick and nothing like when I was growing up in the 50’s and 60’s.  So carefree (in comparison anyway).  My father passed away in 2008.  I got my love of reading at a young age and I was always in the middle of a couple books at a time.  Nowadays not as much….as it just seems harder to concentrate.  But his curiousity about everything rubbed off on me.  I remember him going through the whole Von Daniken series of our ancients actually aliens from another planet.  I was probably in my 20’s when he first mentioned the NWO.  Of course I was too busy living life to pay any attention, but I don’t think I ever mocked him or rolled my eyes.  I think it was a blessing that he passed when he did.  Today’s world would horrify him.  Selfishly, I wish he WAS here dammit, just to BS about all the crap going on.

    He was also big into talk radio.  I remember his radio on at night and they were listening to KDKA Party Line.  We did end up talking alot about politics the last few years of his life, and I have a feeling that he was happy that I had ‘woken up’.

    Hubby has gotten more into politics than he ever had because I was so hooked on FOX.  He’d complain, but now he watches it more than me.  I’d rather have a mindless sit-com on that doesn’t require any deep thought.  He says the only thing that will fix things is another civil war against the PTB.  He’s probably right, but we ain’t going nowhere…. :)  (Hows that for spiffy grammar??)

     

    Dancing the Last Waltz and Hunkering Down!

    • #14556

      Nunners,

      Our last child is just off to college this weekend. Though she has been traveling to see friends and family this summer, allowing us to experiment with being together and childless for the first time. At least for Mrs. Cog. We came together 5 years ago and I am older than Mrs. Cog, so I have already been down this path.

      Even though the rest of our children are older, ranging from the low twenties to the mid thirties, the texts still come in fast and furious. And with it the imported drama that the present generation of young adults seem desperate to stir up and wallow in.

      This is not to say our generation didn’t produce, and still produces, its own share of high drama and suspense. It seems to be a rite of passage many never grow out of……or grow up from. But the present generation, with its always connected to friends and family but never really communicating, devices and mentality, it seems everyone is seeking affirmation and confirmation from the local herd they have attached themselves to. And when received, even more is craved and desired.

      Sounds like just another addiction to me. And so the downward spiral into the abyss continues.

       

      Cognitive Dissonance

      • #14568

        Nunners
        Participant

        Dear Mr. Cog,

        I must be doing something wrong.  I don’t get ‘texts’ coming in fast and furious from my kids/grandkids.  It seems when hubby retired and we weren’t able to throw $ around anymore, we didn’t hear from them very much.

        Maybe it’s me?  But, I keep thinking that when everything goes to crap, they will remember that they have a place to go for survival?

        PS:  I don’t get here as often as I like.

        Dancing the Last Waltz and Hunkering Down!

      • #14569

        Nunners
        Participant

        That all being said.  There is a young kid at work that comes in everyday to clean at the mill where I work.  He rides a bus to get there.  He’s former Army.  I’ve taken a liking to him.  I’ve given him free eggs from our chickens and he’s so appreciative.  Things that make you go Hmmm.

        Dancing the Last Waltz and Hunkering Down!

        • #14572

          Mrs Cog
          Keymaster

          @nunners – Yes, the texts and calls from the kiddies slow down and stop when the ‘rents (teenspeak for parents) stop doling out the cash and prizes. I suppose each of them is on the path they are supposed to be on to learn their lessons in this life. I find I can still love them just as much without being on the frontlines of the drama and fallout from the consequences of the decisions they each make.

          Miraculously, over time, half of my brood is beginning to find value in our lifestyle and ask some of the right questions. Wonders never cease. :-)

          • #14608

            Nunners
            Participant

            Well, I guess I’m still waiting for the ‘finding value in our lifestyle’ comes into play.  When my #1 son’s ‘water well’ kept running dry a couple years ago , it was hubby and me who went out there in January freezing cold to help pull up the pump.  We didn’t know it then, but he (hubby) had cancer and was on his way to dying.  He had to stop every few minutes just to rest.  But we got it fixed for him, saving them thousands of $.  since then….crickets.

            A couple years ago my  #1/only daughter ran into financial difficulties.  Gave her more $ than I will ever admit.  ($3K +)  She couldn’t even feed the kids.   Since then she had her BF (on disability) move in and now they are AOK.  Rarely hear from her unless I text first.  But, by golly, she makes sure they go out to bars every weekend.

            I’m  not even going to go into hubby’s kids.  lol.

            I guess what I’m pissed about it is that we were there for all of them.  They made fun of me when I wanted to talk about the inevitable crisis that is coming.  They probably get mad because I don’t go to watch their kid sit on the bench of a sport game.  I dunno.  Bottom line….they think we’re ‘nuts’, but we are always the first ones they call when things go to crap for them.

            Just being able to ‘rant’ here is ‘priceless’.  Thanks  M/M Cog!

            Dancing the Last Waltz and Hunkering Down!

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