Waking Up is Hard to Do

Waking Up is Hard to Do


Cognitive Dissonance


Do you remember when you first woke up, that point when it all became frighteningly clear to you? I certainly don’t, and if rigorous honesty is employed I doubt you do as well.

I make this statement with a high degree of certainty based not just upon my own personal experience, but from countless conversations over the years. Stated simply, ‘waking up’ is not an on/off switched event, but rather a process of slowly clearing away the fog of self deception and comforting illusion. Just as we do not instantly wake from our overnight slumber fully aware and properly functioning, so too do we fail to shake off decades of deep social conditioning and propaganda in an instant.

Sure, during this awakening process there are lightening strikes of clarity and revelation that stop us dead in our tracks while sickening the stomach and weakening the legs. The most devastating of these bolts from the blue are usually self revelatory and rarely joyful events. In fact I still suffer from these ‘First Light’ events to this day. The only thing worse than being caught naked to the world is to be exposed to our ‘self’ devoid of comforting emotional cover.

It is the height of childish thinking, something I am guilty far too often of, to believe we can wipe away in days, weeks or even months what has been carefully and painstakingly crafted within our psyche (what we think of as our ‘self’) over decades; our entire lifetime in fact. The ego does not easily concede its manipulative techniques nor lift its concealing veils willingly and without a ferocious fight.

That emotional stab in the gut you feel when you reach a recognition point is your ego falsely telling you ‘here be dragons’. The trick, if further progress is sincerely desired, is to stay the course and endure further emotional pain rather than run for the hills and continue to hide from the self.

A common misconception, maybe even self deception, pertaining to our corporate and governmental masters is the idea ‘they’ somehow trick ‘us’ into doing things contrary to our own best interest. I deliberately use the word ‘trick’ in this case since others, myself included, dress it up (lipstick on a pig anyone?) by calling it manipulation, propaganda and implied consent. While those words accurately describe the larger overall picture of what’s going on under the covers, in fact the techniques employed are not speaking directly to ‘us’, but rather to our ego and subconscious ‘self’.

Like the master puppeteer carefully hidden above by darkness, heavy curtains and the prancing distraction below, the ego wants us to ‘believe’ the thoughts, ideas and ‘beliefs’ (aka ‘truth’) we profess as ours are actually ‘ours’. Thus ‘we’ are as vulnerable to circumvention as the Maginot Line was and tragically ignorant of our own defenseless condition. Sadly most, if not all, of us are willfully ignorant of our own vulnerability because to examine that particular line of thought requires we open the entire can of self revelation whoop ass. And as we all know too well by now ‘here be dragons’ so why even try.

Dragons - Clean

Essentially our own desire to avoid the inner dragons is expertly used against us by outside forces who present suspect information, often presented as irrefutable ‘fact’, precisely designed to mesh with, while leveraging, our ego’s own efforts to shield us from what the ego perceives as harmful to us. But make no mistake about it, the ego does not arbitrarily decide what is and is not harmful to us. Often it takes the lead from our popular culture, both the intimate one conditioned into us by our immediate family as well as the culture the general population ‘agrees’ upon as the way things should be. More and more these days this agreement is derived through mass media sources, in particular television or ‘social’ media.

For those who wish to dispute this assertion I point towards the huge impact advertising, most assuredly a form of effective mind (ego) control, has upon you and me. Speak to any expert in psychology, also known as someone deeply involved in creating advertisement, and they will quickly list the various methods used to induce (trick?) you to do, which usually means purchase, things you might not normally do. The same applies to the purveyors of propaganda.

While I will quickly admit not all techniques are effective on all people, this simple ‘fact’ allows us the egoic wiggle room needed to convince ourselves advertisement/propaganda, and more specifically the psychological techniques underlying advertisement/propaganda, is not nearly as effective as it truly is. The Maginot Line’s impenetrability is once again confirmed, deftly enabling its circumvention at any time.

Why is it we can often see when others are being lied to while we are often (self) deceived and fail to see what others perceive is clearly obvious? What’s that ‘we’ say? We aren’t fooled anymore now that ‘we’ are ‘awake’? The very fact we believe this tells us and many others we aren’t as awake as we think we are or would like to be. As stated before, our/the/an awakening is a lengthy process and not a short onetime event. Or stated more accurately, the process of awakening is a series of steps taken towards a wider range of awareness.

During a significant and profound ‘awakening’ one ‘truth’ stands out among all others. The more we think we know, either by way of an ongoing ‘discovery’ of the self or (and more likely) a sudden recognition of what was always there but never truly or fully ‘seen’ until now, is the realization we have barely scratched the surface. The more I think I know the more I know I do not know. Many of us, me included, are barely past the first and second steps on our way up a long and winding staircase towards a wider and more encompassing understanding.

I may have had an ‘awakening’ to something general or specific, meaning my awareness is now (more) focused on something it previously was not, which in turn leads me to a new (notice I did not say better) understanding. But to flat out declare the achievement of (now) being ‘awake’, implying there is no further awakening needed, is little more than egoic chest thumping and narcissistic delusions.

I may even have undergone several of these ‘awakenings’ in rapid fire progression, one setting off the next and the next and the next similar to a chain reaction of dominoes falling. But to believe I have arrived and am now fully awake is pure folly and the ultimate in self deception. One does not progress from not knowing to all knowing just like that, even if the process has evolved over weeks or months.

The Awakening - Clean

Contrary to the popular belief ‘we’ are in control of our mind and therefore our awareness, our ego is actually filtering and processing much, if not all, of what we see, read, hear, feel, touch, smell and thereby think. Since it is our brain which actually interprets what enters our five (six?) senses, and our ego constantly monitors everything coming in and going out with the intent of ‘shielding’ us from whatever it is ‘we’ might find disconcerting, disorienting or disruptive, to state categorically we are ‘aware’ is, well, at the very least wildly egotistic and at most the epitome of narcissistic arrogance and hubris.

Consider for a moment the idea that ‘me and my ego’ are not the same ‘person’ and that my ego quite often works at cross purposes to what is truly in my best interest. While one might argue over what exactly is in my/our best interest, and I would join that discussion with dread because it is a circular argument at best, I suspect if ‘We the People’ were individually polled with no fear of recrimination or exposure, many would say what exists today is not in ‘our’ best interest.

That ‘voice’ I ‘hear’ in my head is almost always considered to be me, myself and I. Unless, of course, I am insane as determined by a presumably sane and disinterested party. Meaning as far as most are concerned they are talking to their 'self'. After all, who else could it be other than 'the' self? But what if that voice I hear speaking to me is not ‘me’ in the literal sense when thinking about ‘me’? What if that voice I hear is actually my ego, essentially a foreign entity always lurking in the background skillfully using its disguise as ‘me’ to play ‘me’ to the hilt?

If this were the case, imagine how easily manipulated (tricked?) I would be both by my ‘ego’ as well as by outside forces that recognize the dominant role my ego plays in my everyday life. Those outside forces would most certainly play to my egoic entity in order to control and manipulate ‘me, myself and I’. More importantly, if ‘my’ ego is exposed to the ‘self’ for what it truly is, a severe and debilitating emotional crisis would instantly develop, thereby undermining both the ego and the ‘self’. Essentially 'we' would experience an identity crisis. Clearly the ego would see this as a danger and shield ‘us’ from this information, if for no other reason than self survival.

My ego ‘knows’ it is not ‘me’, thus it is under no self delusion as to the danger my discovery of this fact would be both to my emotional stability and, by extension, to the ego’s existence. The egoic parasite most certainly wishes to protect the host (‘me’) from self destruction if at all possible since the egoic entity cannot exist without the ‘self’, both in a physical and intellectual sense. If my ‘self’ is beginning the awakening process and, from the perspective of my ego, this process cannot be stopped, wouldn’t it be in the best interest of the ego (and therefore also for my ‘self’) both to limit my awakening and also to convince my ‘self’ the process is complete and there is no more work left to be done?

This would be quite easily accomplished since I still believe that voice in my head is ‘me’. The ego only needs to fill my ‘self’ with ‘egotistic’ nonsense about having finally arrived now that I can clearly see what could not be seen before, coupled with self righteous declarations of superiority over the deaf, dumb and blind ‘plebs’, the ranks from which I have now successfully liberated myself. Add in a healthy dose of absolute certainty and closed mindedness to the possibility I might actually be just as blind as before (if not more so since I have now abolished doubt from my mind and vocabulary) and the egoic transformation from unknowing slave to ‘awakened’ slave is complete.

But of course ‘I’ haven’t fallen for that trap, now have I?

The Self - Copy

This is precisely how alternative thinking and the contrary organizations that spring up to support and echo alternative thinking is skillfully subverted and derailed by the mainstream and its handlers/controllers. If I am someone or something in a position of power who wishes to remain in power in the face of a rising tide of popular uproar, all I need to do is ‘talk’ to the ego by any means possible (usually the alternative ‘press’) in order to play ‘us’ like a fiddle. I don’t need to defeat the uprising, just deflect it enough so it turns upon itself, destroying it ‘self’ from within in the same manner ‘my’ ego deflects and subverts ‘me’ in order to protect me.

Brilliant! Simply brilliant! And a technique, I might add, which has withstood the test of time, having been successfully used against our ‘selves’ for millennium by both the ego and those outside powers who wish to control ‘us’, principally by leveraging our ego against our ‘selves’. ‘Knowing’ what I have just laid out is even the slightest bit possible, how can anyone reading this declare with any degree of certainty they have now arrived and are ‘awake’?

The greatest trick the devil ego ever pulled was convincing ‘us’ it does not exist, that any questioning of our ‘self’ (in this case the ego), any significant self reflection or introspection, any digging in the emotional grave yard to unearth layer upon layer of self deception, is a sure sign of weakness and must be avoided at all cost. In truly Orwellian doublespeak our ego ‘tells’ us ignorance is strength by hiding our continuing ignorance behind the veil of self righteous certainty in our awakening, of our knowing beyond all doubt. This is aided and abetted by the clear ignorance of many others in the one or two specific subjects we now see more clearly, such as the financial Ponzi or the growing police state.

Any Cognitive Dissonance experienced over this issue is quickly swept away by the induced (egoic) feelings of superiority over nearly all others. I’ve nothing more to learn since I am already (fully) awake. Any minor details missed are just a matter of more research and most certainly not introspection. Thus the function of public fall guys and useful idiots in positions of power is revealed for their true purpose, to give us a reason to stop digging, to confirm our ‘belief’ we now ‘see’ clearly without subterfuge and obstruction. It’s even better if we can ‘see’ a layer or two deeper into the rabbit hole than others, thereby avoiding the need to look even deeper.

Ask any representative of “We the People” if they are ‘aware’ and you will receive nary a negative in response. The ego within would never allow ‘us’ to admit we are unaware or even less than fully aware, particularly in a public setting, for the cultural response would be overwhelmingly embarrassing. Knowing the public ridicule we would receive if our ignorance were ever made public, the ego helpfully ‘suggests’ we refrain from even entertaining the possibility in the ultimate of private settings, when talking to our ‘self’. Remember, here be dragons. Besides, even if this were true before, I’m now ‘awake’ thereby eliminating any possibility of present or future ignorance.

At the present time there are seven billion permutations of this internal con game, this viral madness, with no end ‘in-sight’. It is a spiritual and cultural dis-ease that thoroughly infects the individual, which in turns (re)infects the culture in a positive feedback loop of monstrous proportions.

This is why I endlessly repeat the same mantra again and again and again. To defeat the enemy without we must first look deeply within so we may finally recognize our supporting role in the greatest self con game the world has ever seen. The madness we see in all others clearly resides within.



Cognitive Dissonance

Awakening - Clean

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4 thoughts on “Waking Up is Hard to Do”

  1. Fantastic work, as always, Cog — I think I will try to excise the word “awake” from my system of meaning. The experiences, though noteworthy and frequently traumatic, do not make me qualitatively different: I am still just as much of a fool as I ever was, and if I allow myself to for get the fact I’m even more the fool.

  2. “That ‘voice’ I ‘hear’ in my head is almost always considered to be me, myself and I.”

    I do not believe the Voice is oneself. Nor is it ego. It is an interloper. A bad roommate if you will, created by indoctrination and domestication. Why do I think this? Because I can perceive it. By definition what ever you can perceive cannot be you. Look at your wife, your cat, your farm. Are they you? Of course not because you see them. This is same with the voice.

    At the heart, who are you? I am Cog. No, that is a label you give yourself. Ok, I am a man in this body. No, then who was that little baby your body was once? Your body is changing constantly. It is not you but the vessel where you reside at this moment in time. So what essentially are you? Consciousness. An observer and explorer of this life. That is you in essence. So what is the Voice? It is a roommate and usually a bad one at that. When you live with a roommate you have 3 choices. One is to ignore its incessant ramblings. Two is to engage it and wrestle with it. Three is to expunge it, this being the most difficult choice but not impossible. This has been my life mission and I have been mostly successful. The voice only bothers me now when I am under duress and it knows tricks to get my attention.

    For example, the other day I was sitting quietly with my husband enjoying a good book when he says out of the blue ” I am so stressed out by our retirement. We can never save enough. It’s simply impossible and I just can’t think of a way out.” Immediately my Voice starts. ” yeah miffed what did I tell you. You are going to be a bag lady. You’ll be eating out of garbage cans and selling your body in hopes of a sandwich occasionally and then you get raped by all the squatters at night. Tough luck.” I ignore the voice, let it run in the background unfulfilled by my lack of attention. I turn my attention to what my husband has said. I get it. His Voice is talking to him. I see a way to help both of us. His Voice knows his great fear is losing me.

    ” Dearest, you are doing the best you can in this hostile environment. It is not any fault of yours. Please know, no matter what happens I will be with you and never leave. So what if our future is tires and a burning barrel? We will be together and make do as we always have.”

    He looks at me and smiles. I know his Voice has quieted. And I notice mine has left as well.


    1. WOW @Miffed:

      I am so impressed. You really explained a very difficult, if not almost impossible to understand, issue in a couple of paragraphs.

      What and how you describe this thing is why I made up my term ‘Awake Mental Voice’ in my essays instead of using what is more commonly called the ego. This thing most of us think of as us, and what we commonly call our ego, is not our ego at all. It is absolutely not us. This thing we hear talking to us is an artificial construct created by conditioning, using the most perverse and evil conditioning imaginable. Most people are not virtual slaves to this voice they think of as themselves, they are literal slaves to it, pouring out uncontrollable amounts of energy they know nothing about. Wasting away in this beautiful place like mindless zombies, not dead but not alive either.

      You and your husband are more than welcome to join me and mine around our fire pit sharing what we have when the times get tougher. We can laugh together at the pitiful attempts our ‘Awake Mental Voices’ make to control us in its attempt to get us to give up our life energy through fear and dread.


      1. Now I think I’d would like that a lot! A fellow mindful explorer is always a welcome friend. A light in a dark world. Who knows? I’ve thrown out some incredible intentions and wow, what rides they became, though I must admit none went down the path I had expected. Sometimes all it takes is the courage to make one and an adventurous spirit to follow it where it goes.


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